Horny.&.Petty

I.apologize.for.my.lack.of.spaces...

After.nearly.three.months.of.radio.silence.I.felt.the.need.to.add
a.post.after.listening.to.Tom.Petty's..."You.don't.know.
how.it.feels." Do.you.ever.listen.to.a.song.and.immediately.
want.to.have.sex.with.someone?
Ugh...me.too...
Anyway,...this.song.did.it.for.me,.but.then.I.remembered.
my.past.month.of.relationship.realizations:

Realization.#1:...According.to.AOLnews.guys.don't.like.girls.
with.short.hair...Apparently.the.trendy.fashion.forward.look.
is.more."butchy".to.guys.than.cute.
I.think.men.should.be.grateful.that.a.woman.would.
touch.something.as.ugly.as.a.penis.

Realization.#2:...Just.last.week.a.friend.and.I.decided.to.go.
"wild".and.create.e-harmony.profiles.for.ourselves...
Not.to.actually.find.a.guy.but.just.to.see.who.we'd.pair.up.with.
After.answering.over.100.questions.and.reflecting.on.my.
personality,.e-harmony.sends.me.a.disclaimer.saying.
that.20%.of.applicants.are.not.given.a.profile.because.
they're.not. suited.for.the.cyber.dating.world...
Fuck.you.e-harmony.
P.S:...my.friend.already.has.17.suitable. matches.on.her.profile.


Realization.#3:...I.am.too.short.for.relationship.bliss.

Therefore,.even.though.Tom.Petty.makes.me.want.roll.
around.with.a.guy.covered.in.
vaseline.and.Hawaiian.Tropic.tanning.oil....
I.can't.because.the.internet.screwed.me.instead.

What.I've.learned.today.in.life,.love,.and.politics:
Life:...Do.not.walk.underneath.birds.
Love:...match.com
Politics:...Whoever.gives.me.free.gas.gets.my.vote.

~all.done.in.good.humor