Dear Potential Friend--n/smkr, f,s,will wear heels.

I wish I was more popular?

Again, I was sitting in Psych. 101 today, story of my life, and the girls several seats down were talking about parties that they were going to be attending Saturday.

This weekend on my list of things to do is:
1. Stare at the ceiling
2. Take my sister shopping
3. Buy more thongs--Armageddon sale
4. Eat with the family for sis's birthday

Though I have no problem celebrating my flesh and blood's 18th, I wish that there were more people that I could socialize with between family holidays.
I mean...
I facebook, I myspace, I blog, I check my email,
I have super cool waxing appointments...

Why am I not more popular?

To my knowledge, to be popular you need a collection of these things:
(particularly girls, but if this floats your dinghy boys then be my guest)

1. Tanning bed membership......................................check

2. Dyed hair ....................................................... check
3. Mascara ......................................................... check
4. Sorority Sisters ...................................................Nope
5. Sweat pants with "pink" on the butt...........................Nope
6. Fake Uggs .......................................................check
7. Monogrammed Purse ..........................................check

I have 5 of the 7 cardinal cool "collector's items"!!
Why do I spend my weekends in the comfort of Riverside Estates?!
(And no that is not a cemetery...but God does it sound like one)

Anyway, I have this theory as to why I have only 4 people to hang out with:
I'm too short. Simple as that.

Potential friends can't look up to me, so they look down; I can fit clothes that I had in 9th grade which reminds potential friends of the awful time they had in 9th grade; potential friends have been pre-programmed to hate and squash tiny things...I= cockroach; potential friends don't know whether to categorize me as a "little person" or just as an "impared" grower, they get annoyed wondering about it and opt to leave instead.

The only way, it seems, for me to ever become popular is to wear high-heels with my new Vicky-Secret warmups while talking on my pre-paid to some sorority girl I stalked on facebook.

Sounds presh'...

What I've learned today in life, love, and politics:
Life: I have money; want to be friends?
Love: I have money; want to be friends?
Politics: I have money and I'd really like yours!


--all done in good humor