$20 Richer poor Girl

So I found out today that I have 18 first cousins that I didn't know existed.

Southern stereotype or what?

I would like to steer away from crude remarks today inorder to introduce myself to you--seeing as how, statistically, we're probably related.


Born: K. Blkdsjfdsos (Its a very hard name to spell--this is the abbr.)
Reside: Riverside Estates
Birth: Bastard
Birth Location: Hospital
Nationality: Dixie, United States
Parents: Mom and step-dad
Real Dad: MIA
Siblings: Yep.
# of blood-first Cousins: 25
# of step-first cousins: 4
Total cousins: 29

How did I find out about my additional 18 kin?

Apparently, my grandmother on my biological father's side has "alzheimers" and sent my biological sister's birthday card to my residence.
Got all that?
Apart from writing "K. Blkdsjfdsos" on the birthday check, she wrote my "bastard" name on the birthday card; added a personal message to the card about how proud she is of me; addressed the envelope to "Riverside Estates--Dixie, United States"; and then got "Cousin #9" to lick the stamp...
How did she not realize what she was doing was WRONG!?
She just caught the alzheimers--I dun herd--has it already spread to her memories of illegitimate grandkids?
I mean...we've seen each other like...14 times!!
How could she forget this shit!?!

Now my biological sister will probably have a melt down about how our grandmother, on our biological dad's side, doesn't care about her and forgot to send her a birthday present.
I'll probably end up having to give some "grandmom never sends anything good anyway" speech --while the birthday check meant for her is now residing in my bank account.
Ugh, c'est la vie.

What I've learned today in life, love, and politics:
Life: Inbreeding doesn't necessarily equal lots of cousins, just lots of shitty presents.
Love: Daddy wasn't there, to change my underwear, to take me to the fair...daddy wasn't there.
Politics: Voters in a Vermont town added a second ballet to last nights primary poll....the city voted for or against the arrest of George Bush and Dick Chaney upon entering the town, on the grounds of constitutional delequencies. The yeah's had it--and in some parallel universe, popular opinion might have mattered.


--all done in good humor