Das' Wack...

White Crackers of the World Unite...

Flipping through channels today, I happened upon CMT--the Cuntry Moosic 'Tarded channel.
To compete amongst the reality shows of BET, VH1, & Bravo, CMT has created a living legend "Redneck Weddings". Not only does the show reveal the ancient arts of cow tipping and mud wresslin' in wedding garb., but it brings back fond memories of my childhood in South Carolina.
How many times have I heard "the only way to go down is a ho-down"? And how many times did mamma say, "you gotta constipate marriages, otherwise they's analed"?
The show is REVOLUTIONARY.
It has got to be the only show that really speaks to me (apart from Maury), and I must say what a blessing.
BTW, courtesy of News 19, Jesus has been spotted in South Carolina --obviously he's a fan of "Redneck Weddings" and wanted to be included next episode. No, but for serious, Jesus was spotted in the wood grain of a woman's bedroom door this week; local pastors say that the image is genuine and a sign from god. Those that have actually READ the bible realize that no one knows what Jesus looks like---for all we know this may be the face of Frederick Douglass coming back to haunt dumb white people.
What I've learned today in life, love, and politics:
Life: I would from here on out like to be referred to as a white "biscuit".
Love: I took a road less traveled and ended up with more money and a vibrator.
Politics: Political scandals get so much air time---whatever happened to Lindsay Lohan?

--all done in good humor